Always with you

Today is [a] very good day for me because Guru Mahārāj forcefully gave sannyās to me. Thirty years Guru Mahārāj wanted to give me charge of his mission. I was actually in charge of [the] mission one year after joining. I joined in 1947 and Guru Mahārāj gave me charge for preaching after one year. [The] miracle is that from where I came, that village, Guru Mahārāj sent me after one year for preaching. I stayed in that village in the medical dispensary, hospital, there also I was in charge.

That time some brahmāchārī, they went for preaching [in] that village. But this brahmāchārī, they preached to me: “This body is nothing, this mind is nothing and the soul is everything. And soul is now conditioned, he will not get proper form and action. Then you leave everything and come with us.” I was [a] village boy, I understand immediately, “It is nothing, not body, not mind, not everything, ātma is the super.”

Miracle is that. Behind that now I understand some super power [was] acting behind me. Actually what happened, my father lost his first son, then he promised to Lord Śiva, “If you give me one son I shall make him sannyāsī for you after 16 years.”

Now I am thinking [about] that previous life history. Anyhow, that time my age was 16 plus and suddenly that very day was Nṛsiṁha Chaturdaśī and I came out from everything living. And after one year Guru Mahārāj sent me to that previous place for preaching. I am honoring Lord Śiva too much and that very day was Śiva’s sannyās day. And so many thousands of sannyāsī, they are taking a vow [for] fifteen days. But I forgot everything. Suddenly I came out from brahmāchārī and joined in Guru Mahārāj’s lotus feet. And that time I have seen [the] next day, that day was Nṛsiṁha Chaturdaśī and the next day was Purṇimā, finishing the sannyās day. That also I have seen, the Nabadwīp bridge, there so many sannyāsī going to Lord Śiva’s place then I remember today is Lord Śiva’s day. But before that I was in some living dream. I forgot everything, my body, my mind, my atmosphere, my friends, so many friends were there. Now I am thinking it was very illusory atmosphere for me. Still [in] that village people have much affection for me. Whoever went there, everyone knows that. I do not know how much affection but [at] present I have seen when our party [is] going to my birthplace and through that [place], they are feeding, they are giving reception, everything. And [on] my birthday there, thirty to forty thousand people are coming. And it is miracle for me, I cannot believe it but it is happening every year. Anyhow, from that day I was practically in charge of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj’s mission.

Yesterday I [was] reading some writing of Guru Mahārāj, there Guru Mahārāj told it, “I [have] given charge to him before.”
But [for] thirty years I avoided the chair of Guru Mahārāj. Two [reasons are there]; one, I am thinking if Guru Mahārāj will give charge to me then he will disappear. And second thing is, I am not feeling that as a guru I can act on behalf of Guru Mahārāj. But every year Guru Mahārāj insisting, insisting, insisting, insisting; then thirty years passed.

But lastly Guru Mahārāj made some bait with me, “If you will not take sannyās, I shall die today. Without sannyās I cannot hand over this mission [in written form] to you. You take sannyās and take charge of my mission in written [way] (officially), [then] I shall be very happy. Otherwise I shall die today.”

And I believe Guru Mahārāj, [and] what he is telling, it is truth, must be today Guru Mahārāj [will leave]. Then I have seen no other way, it was yesterday, no other way to avoid. Anyhow, then Guru Mahārāj called Araṇya Mahārāj, Araṇya Mahārāj that time was Kṛṣṇa Śaraṇa Prabhu and told [him]. I told to Guru Mahārāj, “I am your goat, you can cut my neck or tail, as you like you do.”

And immediately Guru Mahārāj sent for [the] priest of my sannyās, that Purī Mahārāj, Bhakti Pramod Purī, he is my sannyās priest. And Kṛṣṇa Śaraṇa went to bring him and he came with him and arranged all the function. I think you have seen [those] pictures, so many pictures [are] there, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj giving me mantram, Guru Mahārāj advising Purī Mahārāj which way you will do that, etc.. And evening his dear god-brother, Satiś Prabhu, Guru Mahārāj told to Satiś Prabhu, “Now I am worry free.”

After that Guru Mahārāj not taken one disciple. Two and a half years he was in his divine body but [did not take] one disciple, all disciples he made for me.
Question: That year was 1986?
Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj: 1985. At that time he publicly declared everything, in 1986 in Gaura-Purṇimā meeting and ’87, ’88 12th August he disappeared. This is my situation. After ’85 Guru Mahārāj did not take any disciple and two three four maybe, when I was not in MaṬh, preaching outside, and Guru Mahārāj gave initiation but when I came back Guru Mahārāj told me, “I made two of three disciples of you, as your ṛtvik I have done it.”

That two disciple is Mādhavānanda and Śyāma, american. And another disciple Guru Mahārāj’s brother’s wife. And another one I cannot name. [Those] four he initiated on behalf of me, my ṛtvik, he told me. And another one, oh, Āchāryya Mahārāj’s son, Bon Mahārāj, Āchāryya Mahārāj son Bon Mahārāj, he told. I forgot, few days before he told, Guru Mahārāj sent to you and you sent to Guru Mahārāj.

when my Guru Mahārāj is keeping this kind of faith [in] me, [how] can I avoid anything. I am always remembering my Guru Mahārāj’s preaching and missionary attitude and forgetting my good or bad health. Doctor always telling me not to fly, my heart was thirty five percent working. But when I am thinking Guru Mahārāj taken much austerity for me and [how] shall I relax in my room? My life [is] for Guru Mahārāj and this time also [the] doctor said not to fly, you relax. But I came to London, ten hours in flight, and London to Russia. No doubt physically I am suffering too much, [but] I cannot stop my duty. My duty [is] to glorify Lord, Guru Gaurāṅga Gāndharvā Govinda-Sundar, Guru Gaurāṅga Rādhā-Mādhav and all the devotees’ glorification. It is my duty to speak. That is kīrtan and śravaṇa. I am reading the books. I am hearing from the Vaiṣṇavas so many things, and so many Vaiṣṇavas are very affectionate with me like Goswāmī Mahārāj, Śrīpad Janārdan Mahārāj, Śrīpad Siddhānti Mahārāj, Akiñchan Mahārāj. I am here in Russia, they are all coming [to] Russia. This kind of friendship, this kind of affection, this kind of love [is] very rare to get.

And you know Śrīpad Avadhūt Mahārāj, who is the chief of [my] mission here in Russia. And how much love Vijay Ramaṇ [has for] me, [it is] not necessary to mention it. And I [am] surprised to see your love and affection for me. You [are] all my disciples or my gurus, I cannot recognize. You are teaching so much to me and I am following your practicing procedure. And I believe who [has] taken initiation from me, he [is] already liberated, only formality something necessary. You do not know, but I know, you cannot feel, but I feel. And you cannot believe which way I know, I believe my Guru Mahārāj. And I know Guru Mahārāj given me order to initiate, I am initiating. Then all responsibility [is] going to my Guru Mahārāj and I believe Guru Mahārāj’s initiation through me, it is rescuing everyone.

And I know you are, many [of you], doing some nonsense. Finally I know it is child’s play. One child, little child, doing nonsense, something. I feel that it is nothing for Guru Mahārāj. You know the grandson and grandfather relation so sweet. I am in the middle like [the] father. But grandson and grandfather relation never will be broken. Then you have nothing to worry.

You chant Hare Kṛṣṇa mahāmantra and be happy. And Kṛṣṇa will save you, my Guru Mahārāj [is] behind you all. I am always with you all and I prove it, I am always with you all. I prove it, I come to Russia. And here is Rohini Didi you see, she flew from Brazil to here. Like this, so many [have] come from outside of Russia. And Uddharaṇa Prabhu I have seen, Turkey devotee, all the Turkish devotee. And all is very affectionate and that affection will give liberation.

This is my simple presentation in this day for you all. Some historical and some transcendental. When you will be liberated you cannot feel. But automatically everything will reveal by the grace of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, by the grace of Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswatī Ṭhākur, by the grace of Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākur, you are all saved. I am always with you.
Jaya Oṁ Viupad Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj ki jaya!