Yudhamanyu Prabhu's Disappearance

Goswami Mahārāj: Jaya Śrīpad Yudhāmanu Prabu Sevā Vikram Tirobhav Titi ki jaya
Jaya Bhakti Lalīta Devī dasi ki jaya
Kṛṣṇa Kanta dd, Munindra Mohan Prabhu ki jaya
Hare Kṛṣṇa
Jaya Jivana dd ki jaya
Samaveta bhakta-vṛnda ki jaya
Nitāi-gaura-premānande

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Jaya Śrīla Bhakti Sudhir Goswāmī Mahārāj, ki jaya.

Goswāmī Mahārāj: Tirobhav Maha Mahotsav Titi Jagannath das Babaji Mahārāj ki jaya
Rasikananda Prabhu ki jaya
Srila Bhakti Dayita Madhava Maharaj ki jaya

So, when Śrīla Narrotam Ṭhākur has advised that not to try and approach Kṛṣṇa directly.
Not so easy. Kṛṣṇa-svarāṭ, He is independent, unpredictable. … āśroya loiyā bhaje, tāre kṛṣṇa nāhi tyaje, āro saba more akāraṇa (Ṭhākura-vaiṣṇava-pada: 1), that it... it is better and more... say a... safe, secure, strategy to take shelter of the devotee of Kṛṣṇa. As has Kṛṣṇa reveals, although He's been declared in the beginning of the Bhagavatam, to be svarāṭ, He's independent.

ahaṁ bhakta-parādhīno
hy asvatantra iva dvija
sādhubhir grasta-hṛdayo
bhaktair bhakta-jana-priyaḥ
(Srīmad Bhāgavatam: 9.4.63)

That in the presence, He said I am svarāṭ, independent. But in the presence of My devotee, it is as if, I lose My independence. This is the magic, the secret of devotion, the impossible of impossible things, inconceivable. That it's such a powerful substance, that Kṛṣṇa finds it irresistible. All-attractive, irresistible Kṛṣṇa, cannot resist... a... bhakti-rāsa, the love of a devotee. So, Rūpa Goswāmī makes this clear in the beginning of the Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, where he is saying, “What are the characteristics of pure devotion?”

Remember, this is 'the' book on devotion. Written by whom? The leader, our leader, Rūpa Goswāmī. So, there's no greater authority on this subject. He's deputed, deputized by Mahāprabhu for this purpose. Sometimes Guru Mahārāj, said, “He's the mouthpiece of Mahāprabhu, Śrīla Rūpa Goswāmī. What Mahāprabhu wants to give, He's giving through Rūpa Goswāmī and Sanantan, Raghunāth dās, etc... But, Rūpa Goswāmī has this specific sevā. In this book of his, it's everything you need to know about devotion. And, there in the beginning, when he's qualifying it, describing, delineating, what are the characteristics,

kleśa-ghnī śubhadā mokṣa-laghutā-kṛt sudurlabhā
sāndrānanda-viśeṣātmā śrī-kṛṣṇākarṣiṇī ca sā
(Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu: 1.1.17)

Śri Kṛṣṇa... karṣiṇī... Kṛṣṇa means ākarṣan, He's attractive, irresistibly... attraction, that is Kṛṣṇa. Like, Kṛṣ – ṇa, everyone is Kṛṣ... irresistibly drawn toward the central conception of the absolute. And then, ṇa, He's nourishing everyone, rasarāj-kṛṣṇa. And Rādhārāṇi, mahabhava-svarupini-rādhārāṇi, extracting all this nectar from Kṛṣṇa and distributing her servitors. So, Rūpa Goswāmī, that Kṛṣṇa, who is all-attractive, śrī-kṛṣṇākarṣiṇī ca sā, He is irresistibly drawn in attraction to the heart flow of His devotees. What he's saying, the better strategy is you take shelter of my devotee, praise my devotee, that is the way to the heart of Kṛṣṇa.

And, just as we do not conceive of Kṛṣṇa alone, we do not conceive of Guru in isolation, or divorce from his servitors. This Guru Mahārāj is clearly indicated. The other day was the appearance day of Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswati Ṭhākur, and this five verse poetry of Guru Mahārāj, composed actually, on the birthday, for the birthday... appearance day of Śrīla Bhakti Siddhānta Saraswati Ṭhākur. That's why it's not sung on the tirobhav, but... on... in there he says, the last line of so many verses, we mentioned one the other day, but, each verse ends with this line, praṇamāmi cha charaṇāntika-parichāraka-sahitam (Śrī Dayita Dās Praṇati Paṣchakam).

And it's telling... and he's saying, “So, I worship my Guru but, with his associates. I cannot think of him independently of his associates.” That's proper Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. Not in isolation, just as we don't think of Kṛṣṇa alone, we don't think of Guru alone. Kṛṣṇa means Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa, Lalitā- Viśākhā, Rūpa-Rati, Nanda-Yaśodā, Sridham-Sudham, Subal... all of... in that way. Always, the Lord cannot be separated from His paraphernalia, neither can Śrī Guru. So, when we think of our spiritual masters in this... particularly, Śrīla Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda, Oṁ Viṣnupād Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar dev-goswāmī Mahārāj, Śrīla Bhakti Sundar Govinda dev-goswāmī Mahārāj.

We also, conceive of them with their entourage. And... who... we conceive of all their disciples in that way, but there are some who have some special recognition from them, who they have voiced, that they consider to be part of their entourage. Outstanding servitors, super servitors, devotees who possess that thing that we all seek, which is, guru-bhakti; devotion to the lotus feet of Ṣrī Guru. So, we received the news in the last couple of days, that Śrīpād Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram, the beloved disciple, associate of Śrīla Bhakti Sundar Govinda dev-goswāmī Mahārāj, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, and Śrīla Prabhupād, that he left this world; the mortal plane.

And, we're left in the position of lamentation and the loss of his association. Someone whom Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj said this to me, “His dearest friend.” Who, we hear from Guru Mahārāj that, “Service according to the intensity of it's renumeration”− excuse me− “Service according to the intensity of it's necessity draws renumeration.” So, at a time, that Śrīla Gurudev, particularly the Caitanya Saraswat Math in Navadwip had the greatest necessity for assistance, Śrīpād Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram, he rendered that service.

That means, when there was a time, it may seem unthinkable, I remember when, like, there was no pump at the Math. Like, you've seen the hand pump... there's no water pump for the Math. Only the so-called tube well. When someone gave a donation, Gurudev got a pump. I mean, in classic Gurudev fashion, he had a feast for the arrival of the pump at the Math. Because all of the paraphernalia of the Math is divine. Only Guru Mahārāj and Satish Prahbu when Sakhi Caran gave that land, very respectfully did Guru Mahārāj removed any plant, tree, or anything. Considering them dhām-vāsī, their part of this divine soil. So, every aspect of the development of the Math is considered divine by Śrīla Guru Mahārāj and Śrīla Gurudev and proper Gauḍīyā ontology.

So, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu... through... in the beginning his collecting party, which Guru Mahārāj and Gurudev considered his own, everything you see, even to this day, within the compound walls of the Chaitanya Saraswat Math was built by their... fueled by their... what would we say... their sevā, but you know the... financed by them. Everything, beginning the first building actually was the first sevak-bhavan, later became paschatya-bhavan. Means, like, you know, for the preachers. Because there... the Chaitanya Saraswat Math, although, Prabhupād described it as, in the early days, “As quite extensive.” It was unable to accommodate how many people came from the west when they heard about Śrīla Guru Mahārāj. So, it needed to be expanded facilities.

And, Gurudev always expanding the facilities for the servitors. So, the first building always the sevak-bhavan, the place for the servitors. But, in time, there are more sevak-bhavans that became paschatya-bhavan, like for the preachers and... but it was all expanding because Yudhāmanyu Prabhu and his party, which is the direct party acknowledge by Guru Mahārāj and Gurudev, was financing all of this construction and expansion. Because, this was a growing movement, this means, the promotion of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj and Chaitanya Saraswat Math beyond the borders of India. Outside of Bengal, outside of India and around the world. In the very beginning, when we were still within ISKCON, once we went with another exalted Mahārāj to the lotus feet of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, to ask many important questions that were plaguing the hearts and minds and souls of the devotees at the time. And specifically with regard to the understanding of Guru. Many of these things ended up in Śrī Guru and His Grace.

But, at that time, I went to Śrīla Guru Mahāraj, I was completely satisfied with his perfect answers to all these questions. Came back, but I was met by a group... I mean the GBC, it's so old history it doesn't even matter now. I can just... does it? I mean, no one would mind, I think. But... so, I met with them, and they... there was a group, and, actually our beloved Janārdan Mahārāj was part of that group. [laughing]

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Then we can mention.

Goswāmī Mahārāj: [laughing] Our GBC. And they were enquiring from me what Śrīla Guru Mahārāj had answered, how he had answered these questions. And, so I thought about how shall I answer... so, I thought, he in many instances supported their position, at that time. So, I started mentioning those things in support. And, they would say to me, “Now do you understand why Prabhupād said that Śrīdhar Mahārāj is the śikṣā-guru for ISKCON? Now do you understand the wisdom of Śrīla Prabhupād in sending us to Śrīla Śrīdhar Mahārāj for consultation after his disappearance? What else did he say?” And, I named a couple of other things, and they kept repeating to me, the wisdom of Śrīla Prabhupād and how he cared for us, and Śrīdhar Mahārāj is our śikṣā-guru, and he's there to protect us in the aftermath of Prabhupād, and Prabhupād wanted us to consult with him, and all these things.

Then I mentioned somethings Guru Mahārāj said that were not in support. And they said, “That doesn't leave this room.” Then more things were said, and I said, “Anyway I'm going to make some transcriptions of that, and... you know... you can each have one.” But, as most of them left the room, one remained behind and, he said to me, “Actually, Śrīla Śrīdhar Mahārāj is often speaking Bengali and I'm the only person understands Bengali, so you don't need to give a copy to anyone except me.” [laughing] And, that put me in a difficult situation, and I thought, these need to be distributed, they need... other devotees need to hear this. But, I've been backed into a corner, and thinking... I said, “Well, these other GBC men I need to give something to them.” But... you know... I thought, at least, then five people will have it. But, really it needs to be got out to the devotees.

Anyway, so... I was then put in a difficult spot. So, I made this transcription because I was force to agree that I would not extensively distribute this, and... but, those five read it, one other man read it. And, at that time, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, he was the temple president of the Seattle temple. And, there was this, at the time, a meeting called the North American Temple President's meeting. So, all the temple presidents came from all over America and Canada, hence, North America. And, I was in this bind of like, I... they... everyone needs to read this but, I can't distribute it. And, then... and Yudhāmanyu Prabhu came. And, he came to see me, in my room and office, privately. And he had with him, and he always had, like Halliburton briefcase or different type of briefcase.

And, he opened up the briefcase, and he had been to Kinko's with the xeroxing. He'd xeroxed, like a hundred copies. [laughing] And, he said, “I'm going to go out, I'm going to give one to everybody.” And, I said, “And I'm not going to stop you.” [laughing] And, suddenly he was out, like in the middle of the street passing, distributing them, so that everybody got one. And, then everybody got Guru Mahārāj's message, at that time, as well. And, so... but what this shows... you know, the name Sevā Vikram means, like, heroic servitor, a hero, someone who's willing to risk everything, you know, on the battlefield. And Saraswat Ṭhākur says, “Preaching is a... kīrtan means a fight.” So, Yudāmanyu in the Bagavad-gītā is a fighter, who's known for his valor. Guru Mahārāj later gave him this title, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram, for this kind of brave, valorous, heroic sevā, that he did then and he would do repeatedly.

In other words, always taking some risk being in the... what do you call it?.. the avant-garde, the spearhead of any type of, like, campaign. Those people are likely to go down, Guru Mahārāj later told us. He said that, “If you were a little bit behind, they go down, then maybe you'll survive.” But, that group, like, the suicide squad, they're ready to risk everything for the campaign. Yudhāmanyu Prabhu had that type of spirit, and I'm showing you here, this is from the very beginning. And, then, so that was a good sign, so this started going out, and then the tapes of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj. And, he put... first person to put Śrīla Guru Mahāraj's picture on the altar. You can imagine this was a little controversial, at the time.

And, so he had to leave there, but... anyway, there's many stories and long history. But, also, with the regard the Sevā Vikram, at one point, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, Jivana dd, Prabāla, Krishangini, Mukundamala... some other... they were... Lalīt Caran; Akincan Mahārāj, they were in South Africa. And, at that time, I might not get this all in chronological order, but we had... on this theme of Sevā Vikram, when Guru Mahārāj actually gave the title, he's distributing books of Guru Mahārāj. And, they arrest him, and even attack him violently, physically, to... trying prevent him from distributing the books of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj. And, like, Guru Mahārāj was... and Gurudev were comparing this, when Nityānanda Prabhu was attacked by Jagāi and Mādhāi. And, that's when he gave that title. Saying, this type of fearless valor his showing.

And, when he... back to that Seattle, being the president of the temple there when he, we're promoting Guru Mahārāj, he's only promoting Guru Mahārāj. And, he was, you know, unceremoniously asked to leave. And, Śrīla Guru Mahāraj, his general tenor of his advise was, you know, if you come this way you don't take anything. It's like the all risk no gain program. Although, it becomes all gain and no risk. So, what he's saying... but, he had Jivana, his devoted beloved wife, and this girl Prabāla, who helped with the Guardian Devotion Press. So, they're leaving... they're going without anything, but at the temple, they have this one vehicle. It was like a Toyota flatbed... you understand?.. like, it has a cab and then a flatbed in the back. And, what it's purpose at that temple, it was known as the garbage truck. It was just to carry garbage away from the Math to a dump. So, you can imagine this vehicle.

And, it's in that vehicle, when I was in San Jose... to come back on it... that Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, Jivana dd, Prabāla, they came like, down from Seattle to San Jose in this vehicle with all their earthly possessions on the back of that flatbed truck. And, at the time, this was really a plus, because I don't even think we had any other kind of vehicle. But, and then Yudhāmanyu Prabhu and I were like madmen, we're like, driving around San Francisco bay area. This did not have a lot of sound insulation and things like that. I remember going over the Golden Gate Bridge and sort of like... like, talking loudly, at the point of, like... yelling almost to have a conversation. And, this point came up about... because we're always having to defend Guru Mahāraj and they're trying to attack him in various ways. And, one of the things they would say is, “He never left... went outside of India and preached in foreign countries.” They were trying use this as, like, he wasn't a proper preacher, or something, because he didn't... you know, Saraswati Ṭhākur ask him to go to the west and he didn't go. That whole thing...

And, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu he's driving along, and we're on... like, screaming back and forth about this stuff. He's very intense personality and can bring out your own intensity. In fact, one of his nicknames... in certain bhāv he would exhibit, we called him Mount Saint Yudhā. Because, he was from the Seattle area and there's a mountain there called Mount Saint Helena. And, it blew up in the 1980s, it had a volcanic explosion. So, sometimes, like today's Mādhava Mahārāj disappearance day and Guru Mahārāj said, “He was a man of volcanic energy.” We could say Yudhāmanyu Prabhu was a man of volcanic emotion. So, sometimes he would explode with... he just couldn't tolerate certain misconceptions and he would explode with some sort of divine emotion. It came to be known as a Mount Saint Yudhā. [laughing]

But, anyway at that time, we're yelling back and forth, and I said, you know, I know what we shall do to like, cancel this argument their making, like Guru Mahārāj didn't go to the west and preach. I said, “These tapes I have, we will make books, we're going to found Guardian Devotion Press.” And, make Search for Śrī Krisha, Śrī Guru and His Grace, Golden Volcano of Divine Love. So, I said, “We will make these books, and after we've made these books, no one will use this argument again. It will be moot, finished. Because, they will see, without leaving his veranda, Guru Mahārāj will preach all over the world. So, let's not talk about this anymore, we don't have to worry about it.” [laughing] And I remember Yudhāmanyu saying, “Are we going to eat?” [laughing] And, it was at the time we're living off, like, grilled cheese sandwiches sometimes.

But, on this point, so when we did finally get these books... first books we printed around 5,000, he wanted all of them. And I said, Prahbu, like... we have to send some to the Math, there's others, and he said... he just wanted whole lot of them. And it ended up me saying like, 3,000. Because, he was just going to distribute all of them, this sort of dedication and intensity. And... so, he really... he, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram, Jivana dd, they were like, chartered members, founders of the western world preaching of Śrīla Guru Mahārāj and Śrīla Gurudev. And, we've seen this elite group of servitors that he belongs to that have unparalleled, unqualified, unconditioned devotion and love and affection for Śrīla Gurudev; Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj.

I can't tell you how many times, on his veranda, −Madhusudan Mahārāj can verify this− Gurudev was talking with some devotees and their asking questions about this and so many different things, and things that are necessary to be discussed, regarding sevā, or what they're doing, their future. It's very important, it's very heartfelt and they're consulting at the lotus feet of Śrī Guru and we worship that and understand that. But, so many times, Śrīla Gurudev would use Yudhāmanyu Prabhu as an example. And he say, “Yudhāmanyu Prabhu ask one question, he only ask me one question; do you want this or not?” Not a big, or a lot... “Do you want this or not?- If you don't want it, I have nothing to do with it, that's forever out of my mind. If you want it, I'm prepared to give all my energy to that-...so, he only asked me one question; do you want this or not.” And Gurudev held that as the standard. This is pure devotion. No other consideration then what is the order, the desire, the want, of Śrī Guru. And, then willing and prepared to give yourself to that.

As I mentioned at another time, Prabhupād, he's speaking euphemistically not literally, and he said, “The supreme mantra Arjun vibrates at the end of...” … and we're thinking... Oh, you mean maha mantra?.. That's another thing, he's speaking euphemistically... He said, “When Arjun says, kariṣye vacanaṁ tava (Bg: 18.73), he says to Kṛṣṇa, I am now prepared to follow your instructions. Kariṣye vacanaṁ tava (Bg: 18.73), what you say, I'm ready to do that.” Remember, when Gurudev comes to the Math and Guru Mahārāj said, “Are you prepared to listen to me and not your mind?” That's the same thing, that's Bhagavad-gītā, that's Guru Mahārāj, that's devotion, that's Śrīpād Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. Giving everything to follow the order. And, he knows that order is preaching. He cannot be satisfied being complacent in a relatively peaceful, harmonist situation, that most people would find fine as an acceptable form of life. He needs to be on the avant-garde, the cutting edge where the pioneer work is taking place.

So, I remember, now it's over 12 years, maybe 13 years that we're having a discussion. He's about to leave the veranda, Gurudev's veranda in Navadwip, like the car was waiting. And, he was expressing to me his, like, malaise, in that, he felt he wasn't contributing enough, that he should be in a preaching situation. And, I'd been reading these articles about China... and the new China and what was going on in China. And, of course, I... Gurudev brought Avadhut Mahārāj and I together. And, I told him at the time though... we're saying... and really the car's like... he's going to leave in like 20 minutes. And I said... he ask me what I thought about it. I said... and I had one of these articles right in front of me, telling about what's going on in China, this whole new world and possibility. And I said, “If I wasn't working with Avadhu Mahārāj in Russia, in that part of the world and everything...” I said, “I would go to China.”

And, he said, “Well, actually, I'm thinking about that, I have this opportunity, I can be an English teacher.” And, he said, “Ask Gurudev.” [laughing] He's so humble, actually... and... so... and Gurudev was sitting on the side, and I said, Mahārāj... and, he's not really paying to much attention. I had to like, really get his attention. I said, “Yudhāmanyu Prabhu has this proposal about going to China and preaching there.” And, I said, “Would you approve that?” And, he was like, “Yes, yes.” [Madhusdana Mahārāj laughing] That's all, he said like that, “Yes!” He liked that idea very much. And, like, went back, you know... And, then he was on a mission from God. If you know Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, that was it. Remember, “Do you want this or not?” That's the question he had. He didn't go into a big song and dance, how he's going to do it, what... just like, “Do you approve of this or not?” And, Gurudev said, “Yes.” That's all he needed to know. Then he dedicated his whole life to doing that.

And, then he went there and he single-handedly brought Śrīla Guru Mahārāj's conception to China, to the 1.6 billion, and they're making more Chinese people as I speak. Like the 1.6 billion people of China, he brought Guru Mahārāj's conception to them, and Gurudev. How can you calculate the value of that? And he did this single-handedly, at great personal inconvenience, and risk. Again, always... every... if you see him consistently always being in a risky position. Risking everything for this. That Guru Mahārāj said, “That's the kāma-rūpa-bhaktas, the suicide squads, the mood of the vraja-gopīs. They risk everything personally for the satisfaction of Kṛṣṇa. And, later because, Līlāvatī, our first Chinese... she joined in Chiang Mai and then Sulakṣaṇa. And, we brought... we're brought in connection with China as well, but we... we, you know, visit there sometimes.

yugāyitaṁ nimeṣeṇa
cakṣuṣā prāvṛṣāyitam
śūnyāyitaṁ jagat sarvaṁ
govinda-viraheṇa me
(Śrī Śikṣāṣṭakam: 7)

If... talking about separation from Govinda; Kṛṣṇa. And it says, like, yugā; yugāyitaṁ, a momement; nimeṣeṇa... a moment feels like a yugā. We talked about this the other day, but sometimes Śrīla Prabhupād would say, “A moment feels like 12 years or more.” So, I said to Guru Mahārāj once, “I don't... how do you get 12 years out of... extract 12 years from this?” And Guru Mahārāj said, “Yugā also means 12 years.” So if... so, in other words, a 12 year period is also a yugā. So, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu spent 12 years plus in China, that means like a yugā. It was an era, a total age, and that time he... beyond just preaching the concepts of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness, he's giving himself personally to these devotees, who really like disciples and followers.

He's everything to them. He gave himself wholesale to these devotees, not by visiting once a year, twice a year, or staying for a few days, but by living there for the last, say, 13 years, 12 plus years. So, we understand here how devastated they must be. And, we can only... and even recently I saw a videos of him saying, “It's now 2017, so that means it was in the last two months, January, February. And, very beautifully, sweetly, and intensely he's preaching and conveying to the people that what an opportunity is before them. That they should realize the opportunity that is before them. And, with full force, happily in an inspired state, he's preaching to them. And, even in these last few days, that is his program, always.

Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, he's been there for the last, like, 13 years. And, as I asked Guru Mahārāj once, with regard to the Śikṣāṣṭakam, there's line which says,

So, a shock to them to find that he's getting ready for a preaching program, they find that he's left this world. That leaves us in a state of lamentation and sadness. He's irreplaceable, we've lost his association. By his association, we improve, because he has guru-bhakti, Guru devotion. In the seventh canto, Prahlād, Nārada, it is said, many things are mentioned about the cultivation of Kṛṣṇa Consciousness. And, just to blunt or candid, it said... the things... kinds of things that are said there, you know, you could look at that, and think like, “Will this ever be possible, that I can do one of these things?” In this life-time... how many life-times will this take? But, we'll think, “Well, as many as it may take, alright but, it seems unattainable.”

But, at the end of the list it says, etat sarvaṁ gurau bhaktyā, puruṣo hy aṣjasā jayet (SB: 7.15.25), but, through guru-bhakti, devotion to Guru, you get everything. And, then there's some hope there. And, when we see a servitor, like Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, we know he has guru-bhakti, he has love and devotion for the lotus feet Śrī Guru, particularly, Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj, but including Guru Mahārāj and Prabhupād. But, particularly for Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj. And, that is his ticket into that plane. So, it's sad for us, it's lamentable that we will not, in this plane, have his association. But, Guru Mahārāj when one disciple of Swami Mahārāj came to see Guru Mahārāj, after his disappearance, and he was expressing so many things. But, in the course of his conversation, he used the word 'died.' And, Guru Mahārāj stopped him and said, “We don't say that.” He said, “We say disappearance, disappeared.”

He was serving in this plane, and, now he's serving in the upper world. So, we may be sad and sorrowful, but he's not entered a sad or sorrowful position. By his devotional qualities and sevā tendencies, we can only think he is in that realm, praṇamāmi cha charaṇāntika-parichāraka-sahitam (Śrī Dayita Dās Praṇati Paṣchakam: last line of each verse), the lotus feet of Śrīla Gurudev. So, he was serving in this plane, now he's serving in that plane. He's a servitor, he's Sevā Vikram, he's always serving. He's serving now, he will continue to serve. And, if by his mercy, by affections, our affection for him, if that will draw us toward that plane, where he resides, then that will be beneficial for us.

So, I can only harmonize this by thinking he's, you know, with the association of Śrīla Gurdev and his eternal associates. And, for those followers of his, who remain, you know what he expects from you. He taught you this all this time, over all these years, he demonstrated it personally. And, we show our love and devotion and affection for him by following his advice. This is what Mahaprabhu told Rūpa Goswāmī, it's what Guru Mahāraj told me and all of us... the same as there. We demonstrate our fidelity or chastity by following his advice. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Jaya Śrīpād Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram ki jaya. Madhusudan Mahārāj if you would say a few words.

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Wow, Mahārāj, I can say a few words. In a few words, we all knew Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram as a super example of a humble, submissive devotee. And, in my few words, I just trying to say we pray to him that he will kindly look down upon us who are still within this world here, and some of us who maybe here for many years... life-times to come, that if we pray to him that he can look down on us to help us in our journey upwards. But, Mahārāj, you've given a very complete and view both from the scripture and his personality and his nature. Mahārāj, I can just mention some of my own experiences [Goswami Mahārāj: Yes.] with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. And, he was senior to me, very clearly, he was Śrīla Prabhupād's disciple and has been doing so many years of service, before I ever knew anything about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.

And, yet, in his association he's always taken a very, very humble position. And, his whole nature, even though, he was very focus and capable and devoted, all these things, but his very nature was actually the humility that Gurudev is always stressing. The humility, tolerating us, not doubt, but, tolerating so many things in the environment, and giving honor. And, I've shared a room with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. I maybe one of the few, because not everybody was happy to share with his loud snoring. But, I was truly happy to share a room with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. And, I've done... I've shared with him for some time and so have lived closely with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. And, totally his nature was that of humility, completely, we are nowhere in comparison with him. But, he is giving honor, staying in the background.

Today, over the last couple of days, I've been looking for photographs of Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, which some photographs where he's prominent in the photo. Mahārāj, everywhere he's in the background... [Goswāmī Mahārāj: Like Guru Mahārāj] he's in the background, he's trying to be... he's being, sort of, not putting himself forward. But, anybody else there present, he'll have them first and then he's in the background. This is what we saw very much in his nature, and this point, that Śrīla Goswāmī Mahārāj mentioned about Yudhāmanyu Prabhu only wanting to get the clue, the direction from Gurudev. What does Gurudev want? This or that or anything else, whatever Gurudev wants, that's all I need to know, that is what I'll do. And, Mahārāj said, that perhaps I know how many times Gurudev gave Yudhāmanyu Prabhu as an example of that... that he's not asking many questions, only “What do you want, do you approve of this or not?” He gave that countless times, Mahārāj, [Goswāmī Mahāraj: Yes.] if I add them up it's countless. Yudhāmanyu Prabhu is Gurudev's definite example for this mood and this nature.

So, we knew him by the grace of the Vaiṣṇavas, we've come into Vaiṣṇava association, and within Vaiṣṇava association, we have known Yudhāmanyu Prabhu very affectionately. By his grace, allowing us to be affectionate with him, but he's very affectionate to the devotees, very caring nature to the devotees. And we have seen him through the eyes of Gurudev and Guru Mahārāj, though my own experience is more with Gurudev, no doubt. In Guru Mahārāj's time, I have seen and been with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, but not so closely. As they say, I was junior and definitely very junior and there are senior devotees coming from ISKCON at that time. But, in the association of Śrīla Gurudev, then we've had quite a lot of association. The times that Yudhāmanyu Prabhu would come to Navadwip and come to India for the festivals, programs, and other times of the year.

And, we feel very fortunate to have been accepted by Yudhāmanyu Prabhu too, as a friend, co-servitor in service. And, he appreciated so many things. In the early days, there was no internet, believe or not, for all of the new generation. Internet did not always exists, and invitations... one of our regular duties from Navadwip was sending out invitations by post. We would have to go and get them printed up, and, you know, then get the envelopes. Type... typewritters... clink, clink, clink... and they'd type on envelope all the addresses...

Goswami Mahārāj: He still uses one [laughing]

Madhusudan Mahārāj: I've retired it, Mahārāj. [Goswāmī Mahārāj laughing] But, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, I remember, he use to... just coming to the Math, simple things, he was just so joyful and happy about it. And he said... and he told to me, because we are in India, we're not... we're not, like, in the west receiving these invitations and things. And he's in the west. And, he said, “You won't believe how much joy it gives us to receive an invitation.” With them letters as they're set... Mahārāj was describing earlier, they were the typesetting machine.

Goswami Mahārāj: Letterpress.

Madhusudan Mahārāj: The letterpress machines which each letters put in by hand and then, clunk, clunk, clunk... Well, the lines weren't always exactly straight and, you know, they had definite Indian appeal, [Goswāmī Mahārāj laughing] in the way the invitations were made. And then, you know, we would type out the envelopes and everything. But, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, he appreciated so many things, including... that like... you can say, very small thing, but he said, “Oh, the joy you bring us when we're in California, we receive it, we smell it, and it's coming from the Math.” And, his attachment to Gurudev, attachment to the Math, attachment to everything devotional, it was so obvious to everybody who met him and had his association. And, his care for everybody, he was a very caring personality. Very caring personality. And, Mahārāj, you know, we are so happy just to have the opportunity to remember Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram.

And, it is indeed, our loss that he has left from this... this world, from our vision. And, one by one our dear senior devotees, they are going to their eternal destinations. They are continuing and we are left in this world. And, in remembrance of their examples, we must all try to continue and all try to pray for their grace and blessing, that they may give us some good sense and some good strength for the things that we do, all of us, day by day in our devotional life, devotional service activities.

Goswami Mahārāj: There's a verse in Bhagavad-gītā, it says

nehābhikrama-nāśo ’sti
pratyavāyo na vidyate
sv-alpam apy asya dharmasya
trāyate mahato bhayāt
(Bhagavad-gītā: 2.40)

In summary, he's saying, as Prabhupād has, like... a little advancement on this path, saves one from the most mahābhāya, the greatest type of fear. So, that's generally, like sometime Prabhupād would say, resending... receiving... what's the word... descending into the animal species, where there's no opportunity for this type of cultivation, you know... like, saying, so if you advance on this, then you avoid this greatest type of fear. But, once Guru Mahārāj, he said in a letter, in some other connection, he said, and I was surprised to notice this, he said, “The greatest type of fear of a devotee is that there service is not being accepted.” Because, we can say, up or down, they're not concern with that, they're concerned, is my service being accepted.

And I can say, in this regard, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu, he as so paranoid, but in some sort of madly delightful way, like, he wanted to know, all again back to his greatest fear... whether or not his service is being accepted. That's all he cared... the first... when he would come to the veranda, he would come, shut the door behind him, and come in the room, and he would go, “Is Mahārāj pleased with what I'm doing?” I go, “Yeah.” And he'd go, “No, I!” He'd be moving... “I gotta know.” And, I would say, “He is, he is, you know...”

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Mahārāj, he would do to me the same things. The same kind of mood, really.

Goswami Mahārāj: That's what... that's what he would want to know, not Hi, Hello, How are you? He'd slam, shut the door like this, “Is Mahārāj pleased with what I'm doing?” And, even in the last time, when Gurudev was showing his disappearance pastimes, in the last few months. Once again, he came and this question, like, I'm trying to reassure him that he's totally pleased, your bringing the Chinese girls, like Jayavati, Urmila, and so many others. But, bringing them, and it's a great source of joy to Guru Mahārāj... to Gurudev. Like, once I saw... because usually Gurudev has an attendant on his veranda. But, and, my room is a little off the side, and other room... for some reason, it was like, Urmila, the Chinese girl and Gurudev, and know one else. Just the two of them. [laughing]

I mean, that was an... it was like for, you know, five or ten minutes, but it was just very interesting. Only the two of them were there. He wasn't there for a second... Remember she was doing like, painting, things like that, so, that was Yudhāmanyu Prabhu's offering to Śrila Gurudev. Before, he gave so much financial assistance to the Math. But, then in this time, he started bringing all these Chinese devotees and offering them to the lotus feet of Gurudev. And, even here in Thailand, in Bangkok, when we... were... if... some... were some of you there?.. Maybe... No... that he brought Chinese devotees to Bangkok. And, that was around the time when Gurudev was saying, like, “After mixing with all of you, people from the west...” He was saying a little, you know, humorously, he said, “Nothing will surprise me.” Because then repeatedly having to deal with us, so many things have happened... I maybe one of them. But, he said, “Nothing will surprise me.” He said, 'The only thing that surprises me, is that they're chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa in China.”

And why are they chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa in China? Because of Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. But, that he's always so paranoid about whether or not Gurudev approves of his service. That shows you that kind of intensity. And, also you can't think of Yudhāmanyu Prabhu without Jivana dd, his divine beloved wife. And she's like, one of those... when we read about the ladies in the Puranas, and, like, who... their husband is their Prabhu, their exclusive focus, their reason for living, everything. She has that type of devotion and dedication to him. He's doing the service and she's assisting him, and forever, you know, unconditionally faithful. So, such a great Vaiṣṇavī, of course, and with Yudhāmanyu Prabhu. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Is there anything else to say?

Madhusudan Mahārāj: We'll miss you, Yudhāmanyu Prabhu.

Goswami Mahārāj: Hare Kṛṣṇa. Sometimes, I think, that I'm being cheated by these godbrothers of mine.

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Hare Kṛṣṇa.

Goswami Mahārāj: Because, I think, like, they're making me sad and full of lamentation. Then, I'm thinking... but I... sometimes I see there's Gurudev, Siddhanti Mahārāj, Srutra Srava Prahbu: Vaiṣṇava Mahārāj, Rsabdev, Bhuvan Mohan... and I am thinking, and now Yudhāmanyu, and I'm saying, like, I'm here and they're with Gurudev, and, you know... that's the only way I can think of it and digest this. And, it's painful for the devotees, but, we think, Guru Mahārāj would say, “We can't understand the inconceivable will of Kṛṣṇa.” So, he's serving in this plane, and he's been taken up into another plane of service. So, although, our hearts are broken, we're full of sadness, sorrow, lamentation, we cannot impose that upon him. Such a dear, beloved, servitor and eternal entourage of Śrīla Gurudev, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj, and Prabhupād. Hare Kṛṣṇa. Śrīpād Yuhdāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram ki jaya.

I'm going to sing this one song from the song book, ei-bāro koruṇā koro (Vaiṣṇava Vijṣāpti), Narottam Ṭhākur. And, this also... and, he left on the Shivaratri, we know how Gurdev has some special connection with Śiva. And, today we're told the disappearance of Jagannath Das Babaji Mahārāj, who... what type of Vaiṣṇava is he?.. Bhativinod Ṭhākur brought him to the Yogapit in Mayapur to verify if this is Mahāprabhu's birthplace or not. Who would be carried in the, like, wicker basket by the Bihari dās. Because, Jagannath Das Babaji Mahārāj at this point, was like, hunchbacked, so he would carry him. And we're told, when he reached that place, where the local people complained nothing grows but Tulsi, it's a useless place. The only thing that grows there is Tulsi.

And, Bhaktivinod Ṭhākur... Hmm... takes Jagannath das Babaji Mahārāj out. Jagannath das Babaji Mahārāj jumps out of the basket, is leaping off the ground dancing in ecstasy, celebrating the actual place of Mahāprabhu. And Gurudev told this, he also verified the appearance of Saraswati Ṭhākur as this is that personality that we've waited for. And, who else, oh, Rasikananda Prabhu, the mystic disciple of Shyamananda Prabhu. Shyamananda a famed... his samādhi is in Remuṇā at the Kṣīra-corā-gopīnātha. He was super attracted to the Kṣīra-corā-gopīnātha deity. But, he is known to be, like a mystic Vaiṣṇava.

Bilvamangala Thakur says, muktiḥ svayaṁ mukulitāṣjaliḥ sevate’smān, dharmārtha-kāma-gatayaḥ samaya-pratīkṣāḥ (Kk: 7). Muktiḥ is waiting with folded hands to serve the Vaiṣṇava, as are the siddhis, the mystic powers, etc... So, one Muslim Fakir, was like a Muslim mystic, he heard about Rasikananda Prabhu and thought, “I've got to see this with my own eyes.” See if he's really a... he himself is a mystic, so much so, we're told, to make a dramatic entrance, he came riding in on a tiger. To show, like, “I can control this tiger, I have no fear, I... the tiger is under my control.” So, he rides in on the tiger to see him and Rasikananda Prabhu attendant's said, “Oh, hold on a minute, let me go.” And Rasikananda Prabhu is sitting on a broken wall brushing his teeth.

And, his attendant said, “This Muslim Fakir he's here, he wants to have your darshan.” And, he's saying, “Oh, yeah.” Rinses his mouth, and he's sitting on a broken wall, and he says, “Wall, take me to receive the Fakir.” And the wall started moving and carrying him there. And, when that Muslim saw the wall, he thought, “I can control the animate, he makes the inanimate move.” He got down from his tiger gave sāṣṭāṅga-daṇḍavats and realized, “I'm in the presence of the divine personality.”

And, Bhakti Dayita Madhava Mahārāj; Śrīla Bhakti Dayita Madhava Mahārāj as we've mentioned, Guru Mahārāj says, “Saraswati Ṭhākur described him as a man of volcanic energy, opened many Maths in India.” He's the one who said many things about Guru Mahārāj. He always came to see Guru Mahārāj every year. And Guru Mahārāj said, “Before his disciple, as ācārya, he showed like a stern figure.” But, when he would come to the Math, he would be laughing and joking and over eating in a very playful mood. And he'd always come and visit Guru Mahārāj, and his name was Hayagriva Brahmachari in the Gauḍīya Math. Because, whenever Guru Mahārāj mentions name, he would always go, “Madhava Mahārāj−Hayagriva Brahmachari.” “We go why?” Because he was known as Hayagriva Brahmachari in Gauḍīya Math forever. And, afterwards, he became Madhava Mahārāj, so Guru Mahārāj... it's not disrespect, he's respecting by identifying. Like we say, you know, Vaiṣṇava Mahārāj−Srutashrava Prabhu. He's Srtuashrava Prabhu for the longest time, and also Vaiṣṇava Mahārāj.

Anyway, that Madhava Mahārāj said of Guru Mahārāj... he... he said, “You make a great advisor to the king, but you wouldn't be a good king. Like, You don't have the disposition, the mentality to be a king. But, you're the best advisor a king could possibly have.” And we know, Guru Mahārāj said, in another point and elsewhere, that when people ask Chanakya Pandit, “Wouldn't you like to be the king?” He's always advising the king of India, and said, “Wouldn't you like...” “You should be the king of India.” “No, no, no, no,” he said, “To be the advisor of the king, is to be higher than the king.” And they came once, and Chanakya, he's wearing a crown made out of cow dung. And, like, “What do you think of me now?”

So, anyway, that Madhava Marārāj... also, I... the first time I went to Jagannath Puri was at the Howrah Train Station. Told never to ride third-class unreserved... always listen to the devotees. And I violated that. But, before I did, I saw this beautiful looking sannyās, so handsome and dignified. And he's legendary and I just... I paid sāṣṭāṅga-daṇḍavats in Howrah Station... on... just immediately. And he, like, came over to me. And I remember... this was Bhakti... Śrīla Bhakti Dayita Madhava Mahārāj. And, I mentioned I'm going to Puri. And I'm, like, about to enter into third-class unreserved, he was, like, shaking his head. And, he's, you know, going to the other end of the train. But, I just thought, well at least, I got the dandavats and the glance of the Vaiṣṇava, and, I felt really fortunate. And, that's what I'm trying to tell the devotees here, those who... are in this song, who are fortunate to get the glance of Yudhāmanyu Prabhu upon them. And, it's still there, as Mahārāj is saying, we're still praying... they... Guru Mahārāj said, “Our guardians are not imaginary, they're above watching us, watching this transaction, they're approving, they're sending some grace.”

So, in Jagannath Puri, try to just say in short. Where I was getting in trouble on my own, because unchaperoned, not under the guidance, a little bit AWOL, everything's going wrong. Which is a lesson... you know... I, like.. and having been thrown in the gutter by the pandit, I mean, things are really going wrong. And, then I'm going back to my place, like, really... what's the word?.. crestfallen, heart shattered riding this rickshaw and, it's like, near the end of the day. And coming from the other direction is that, you know, angelic, sannyāsi Mahārāj, Guru Ācārya of Gauḍīya Math, Madhava Mahārāj coming, and, he can see I'm not doing well, and stops.

And we're near, at that time, Purusottam Gauḍīya Math and we go into this tulsi garden. And, I told him what happened. And, I'm, like, almost crying and I said like, “I don't understand why we can't go in the temple.” And this is, 1974 or something. And, he said, “Haridās Ṭhākur did not enter the temple.” And my head went like, he said, “Rūpa Goswāmī Prabhu did not enter the temple.” I'm, like, “Uh-huh.” He said, “Sanatan Goswāmī Prabhu did not enter the temple.” Now my head was, like, no... there was no more to go. And, so I was like, “Oh, I'm so foolish, you know.” And he said, “But...” He said, “Mahāprabhu is so merciful. And he told Haridās Ṭhākur, that by the Siddha Bakul I've made a place there for you. And from there you will take kṛṣṇa-nām and you can see the... −what do they call it?− the top dome” [Devotee: Chakra] [Yes, but also the dome has a name.]

And the... so, anyway... the head... shirs means the head... the top... but, anyway, the dome, the chakra at the top of the dome... And, he said, “That's where you will go, you'll begin your parikramā from there.” And, I pulled out this little diary and he would tell me, not only where to go, then where you will go after that, house of Vāsudev Sārvabhauma, and see the Sat-bhuj-murti, and Śveta Ganga, and Gangamata Goswamini, and like, Haridās Ṭhākur's Samādhi, and the Gambhīra, and everything. And, also he told me, how much the rickshaw is. And, then you... so, when I started doing that, and I would say... like, the rickshaw... they like go, you know, “5 rupees.” And, I'd go, “No, 35 paise.” They'd go, like, “What?! Like, how could you know that?” And I said, “Because I talked to Madhava Mahārāj.” [laughing] They were not happy, I gave some extra, just to smooth it out. Because, for me to like, not pay shied prices was an aparadḥ, no doubt.

But, he was so merciful, and so, he new... he just knew, like some lost child. He was merciful to me and gave me this marvelous list of like, “Here's how you should do the parikramā.” And, now I was under the guidance and the shelter of the Vaiṣṇava. So, there was auspicious... everything was now auspicious. Everything changed. So, I remember him from that... and also... and, I cannot help... the affection that Śrīla Guru Mahārāj and Śrīla Gurudev, it was palpable when they talked about Śrīla Madhava Mahārāj. You can tell how much love and affection, mutual, they had for one another. And, like, now we're in this condition... when I first met Guru Mahārāj, I said, "Swami Mahārāj had left the world, and then Bon Mahārāj left the world, then Madhava Mahārāj had left the world, Goswāmī Mahārāj left...” and like... and I said, “It seems like all the great disciples of Saraswati Ṭhākur are leaving the world.”

And, Guru Mahārāj shook his head, and he was feeling that, and helped us understanding our position. But, in a similar way, these... Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vikram, such a great personality, so only Narottam Ṭhākur, he can express, in his poetry, the proper sentiments. This song is Vaiṣṇava Vijṣāpti, means feeling separation from the Vaiṣṇava.

Vaiṣṇava Vijṣāpti

Nāma-Saṅkīrttan

Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra

Goswāmī Mahārāj: Jaya Srīpād Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vipram Tirobhav Titi ki jaya!
Yudhāmanyu Prabhu Sevā Vipram ki jaya!
Jaya oṁ viṣṇupāda paramahaṁsaparivrājakāchāryya-varyya aṣṭottara-śata-śrī śrī maṭh śrīla bhakti sundar govinda dev-gosvāmī mahārāj kī jaya!
Jaya oṁ viṣṇupāda śrīla bhakti rakṣak śrīdhar dev-gosvāmī mahārāj kī jaya!
Bhagavān śrīla bhakti siddhānta sarasvatī ṭhākur kī jaya!
Jaya sa-parikara śrī-śrī-guru-gaurāṅgagāndharvvā-govindasundar giridhārī gopāljīu kī jaya!
Srī giriraj-govardhan kī jaya!
Śrī rūpānuga guru-varga kī jaya!
Namāchāryya śrīla haridās ṭhākur kī jaya!
Śrī-kṛṣṇa-chaitanya prabhu nityānanda śrī-advaita gadādhara śrīvāsādi-gaura-bhakta-vṛnda kī jaya!
Śrī-śrī rādhā-kṛṣṇa gopa gopīnāth śyāma-kuṇḍa rādhā-kuṇḍa giri-govardhan kī jaya!
Vṛndāvan-dhām kī jaya!
Nabadwip-dhām kī jaya!
Śrī chaitanya sāraswat maṭh kī jaya!
Śrī gupta-govardhan kī jaya!
Gaṅgā-devī jamunā-devī bhakti-devī tulasī-devī kī jaya!
Śrīla jagannāth dās bābājī mahārāj tirobav maha mahotsav titi kī jaya!
Śrīla rasikananda prabhu kī jaya!
Srila bhakti dayita madhava mahārāj tirobav kī jaya!
Oṁ viṣṇupād vishava-varenya śrīla ac bhaktivedanta swāmī prabhupād kī jaya!
Śrī chaitanya sāraswat maṭh ācārya-vrinja kī jaya!
Jaya śrīla bhakti bimal avadhut mahārāj kī jaya!
Jaya śrīla bhakti ranjan madhusudan mahārāj kī jaya!
Sevā-vṛnda kī jaya!
samaveta bhakta-vṛnda kī jaya!
Jaya srīpād yudhāmanyu prabhu sevā vipram tirobhav titi kī jaya!
Nitāi-gaura-premānande haribol!

Madhusudan Mahārāj: Jaya śrīla bhakti sudhir goswāmī kī jaya! Nitāi-gaura-premānande haribol!
Bg: Śrīmad Bhagavad-gītā
SB: Śrīmad Bhāgavatam
Kk: Kṛṣṇa-karṇāmṛta